Today, as I sat in a McDonalds with Eli and Jacob, something occurred to me. I wonder a lot about a lot of stuff. I wonder about many things, but do not have the time to share them with my friends and loved ones. These thoughts flit in and out, sometimes amusing, sometimes confusing, but always thoughts that I would like to share.
For this reason, I have entitled this blog, "Nana in Wonderland".
The reason I found myself in McDonalds today with Eli and Jacob, is because I was waiting for Papa to come and pick us up. I had the brilliant????? idea that instead of sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's with papa, (who has been feeling ill for sometime), that I would go the JoAnns, a fabric store and entertain the boys. I mean, how long could he be gone? It was after Papa left us in bright spirits, skipping into the store to buy crafts, that I realized that I did not have my phone. Oh wellll- what harm could that be? He was coming back soon anyway. Well, the plan was to get the crafts, walk down the way to the Toys R Us and find some army cars and go to McDonalds. Papa would meet us at McDonalds, and if we were not there, he would look for us in Toys R Us. It takes rather a long time to decide which craft items to buy for little boys and girls. I love to make crafts with my grandsons, daughters, and little nieces, so since there was a big sale on craft items, I decided to stock up. We were well on our way to shopping closure, when Jacob needed to go to the bathroom. This required a long walk to the back of the store, so off we went. I wonder why, when I am shopping, someone only has to say the word "bathroom" and suddenly I have to go? By the time we reached the restrooms, my "suddenly" became urgent, and I had to trust Eli to take Jacob into the men's room for me. I had pressing business. So, I am taking care of my business, and I hear the toilet flushing in the men's room, water running, boys giggling and the door to the men's room open. Now they are in the hall, unchaperoned. I try to hurry, as I can just imagine the fun they are having playing in the water fountain. My body won't hurry. Now, the boys are running up and down the hall, shouting and laughing. I try to hurry again, and am rewarded with a huge blast from behind. From the hallway I hear, "Did you hear that? Nana farted! Nana farted!", this followed by huge gulping laughter. Now, I wonder why they had to announce that? Finally, I am able to get out of the bathroom to corral my little darlings. They were easy to find, they were on the floor, laughing at the top of their lungs. "Nana, a man was walking by and heard you fart! He started laughing, and that made us start laughing!" I said, "Thank you Precious, no, I don't need to know which man it was". (I just wanted to get out of the store before someone realized it was me in the bathroom.) We went to the front of the store to check out, and I believe I saw a few people glance in my direction with a smirk on their face. At last, crafts purchased and in a huge bag, we start for the toy store. It is about 95 degrees outside, but it is just a short walk- well, gosh, how could I have misinterpreted the distance? I guess it looks pretty short a distance when you are in the car! In reality, it was about a quarter of a mile. A long, hot quarter of a mile, and I can assure you it was hot, as the boys reminded me every step of the way. Before long, Eli looked at me with admiration and said, "Gosh Nana, you sure sweat a lot! I never saw anyone sweat like that!" Then I began to wonder why there was not a long, greasy trail behind me, as I must have lost ten pounds in that short walk! I stagger into the toy store, the boys galloping ahead of me as if it were a cold winter's day. Did you know there is no place to sit in a toy store? Not if you can't fit into a kid's sized rocking chair. I can't fit into a kid's sized rocking chair, and so I am forced to push a buggy through aisle after aisle looking for army trucks willing my shaking legs to keep going. Surely by now, Papa will come and rescue me! But it was not to be, and I found myself and the boys waiting 8th in line to check out, and of course there are no other registers open. By the blessed angel of good luck, we check out and are on our way to McDonalds. Did they move McDonalds? Good grief, it was wayyyyy across the parking lot! Seriously, it seemed that I could barely see the Golden Arches! Oh, and slightly uphill too. Now, I have two bags to carry, my purse and two little hands to hold while traversing a busy parking lot, slightly uphill. Eli again remarks on the magnificent amount of sweat I am producing. Where is Papa? We finally get to McDonalds, and of course there is a long line, and only one clerk. The boys continue to remind me that although they are starving, they don't want onions, mayonaisse, lettuce or tomato on their cheeseburger. Eli begins to panic, he doesn't want a cheeseburger! He must have chicken nuggets! Me, I just want to collapse into a booth with a cold drink. It is 12:35. Lunch is finally ordered, served and eaten. Where is Papa? To my surprise, it is now 1:10 and no Papa. "Nana, we want to go home!", say the boys. "Where is Papa?" After assurring them that he will be there soon, I suddenly remember that I had told him that I would call when I was ready. But I have no phone. I break down and ask a perfect stranger, (a very nice perfect stranger) if I can use her phone. I call Papa. No answer. I think for a moment, and call the doctor. No, Mr See left about an hour ago. Yes, we sent him for X-rays, he may have pnumonia. "Nana, we want to go home!!!" is the chorus from the boys. I tell them that I have it under control. I wait longer. The boys are playing with their army trucks in another booth. The counter people are wondering why I am loitering in their restaurant. I look at the clock, it is now past 1:50. . Where is Papa?
I wonder how a perfectly intellegent woman like myself could find herself on the verge of heat stroke in a hamburger restaurant with two little boys, no phone and no Papa. Common sense tells me to let the boys have ice cream. So I do. It is now 2:15 and I look up to see a wonderful sight. Papa! Just walking in like nothing in the world is wrong. "Did you have fun?" he asked. The boys begin to tell him just how much fun we have had. "Nana farted real loud and scared a man in the hall" says Jacob. "Nana sweated so much, and her face was as red as a watermelon inside" reports Eli. They both report that I forced them to march in the sweltering heat, stand in line at the toy store, and starve them before I could get their lunch! "But did you have fun?" asked Papa. "We sure did!" they said, and then, "do we have to go home?". Turns out that there was no time for Papa to take us home and make it to work on time, so he dropped us off at Jessica's work, and gave the boys some little poppers that you throw down on the sidewalk to harmlessly explode. Once again, I find myself roasting under a Texas sun, because the boys want to pop their poppers on the sidewalk. As I sit on some stairs, contemplating my situation, sweat running down my back, a popper hits my hand and pops. I jump like a stabbed pig, and the boys are in hysterics. "Did you see her jump? I didn't know she could jump like that!" I actually kept my temper. After all, time flies, and before long it will be only a funny memory that the boys scared the hell out of me under a blazing Texas sun while I sat on cement stairs in misery. Smart little boys they are, because after that, they kept well away from me and my long handled purse. The day finally came to an end. What did I learn? Nothing. I am sure I will find myself in just such another situation sometime soon, because Nana's heart only remembers the need to love those little boys, not the effort it sometimes takes to do so!
P.S. Papa did not have pnumonia, but a respiratory infection that is just really hard to get rid of. He will be fine. Oh, and he got a shot! Now who had a bad day?
No comments:
Post a Comment